Where Does This Ocean Go?

I want you to understand something:

I could show you something beautiful, as many things as I could. And if I failed, if I honestly couldn't, then I'd try my hardest. I could love you, I honestly could.

But I can't and won't wait for you. I want to get to know you, yes, right now, for the aim of being in a better relationship, but I'm not sure if you want to for the same reason. Maybe to see if we're right for each other, which I understand. I'm not used to being sensible; I'm used to being insensible and romantic when I get the chance and paying dearly for it because it seems like no one appreciates that anymore.

I don't know if I could get to know you just to be your friend; I have an ulterior motive, and you know that. It's to be with you, so I already have that bias. Of course I'm going to try to be your friend because I want so bad to be with you.

These strong emotions are so dangerous, though. They'll drive me to do and say crazy things, not like stalker or insane-bitch crazy, but the aforementioned impulsive and insensible crazy, the stand outside your window with a radio during a tornado crazy. I'm willing to do a lot to be with you, and I honestly wonder why. I don't know you very well, but well enough. I know what I like about you, but not what about you drives me so crazy. Sometimes I wonder if it's just because I'm lonely and I've been lonely and want someone to love and someone to love me. But this is different than that settling for someone just because they're there, so much different.

You've made this flame, this ball, this star grow inside me that tingles and expands. It creates galaxies, no lie, in my body. I'm going supernova inside for you (that sounds funny...) and I wish you could understand this.

Still, like I said, I can't and won't wait for you because that's stupid. I don't know if you'll have that same sense of consideration for me, because I've found that, more often than not, other people don't. And if you hurt me like that... No matter how I feel, I can promise you I won't try anymore. I've been there and it hurt, and I know I wouldn't do something like that to you. I can't wait, I won't wait, but I'm willing to.

I really hope it's mutual.