I’m prejudiced, sexist, transphobic, and ableist. It’s high
time I admitted that. It doesn’t mean that I don’t work to dismantle these
ideas and make sure I’m not acting from them. What it does mean is that I can’t
completely divorce myself from automatic assumptions.
It’s easy to think that people are racist or prejudiced and
they don’t change. Once a racist always a racist, right? Well, I don’t think
that’s the complete truth. In fact, I think we are all basically complicit in
this system. We can hold ourselves accountable, but that doesn’t mean we get to
view prejudice as something essentialistic. Maybe we need to realize the
different ways we can be complicit in systems of oppression.
The short answer to the question, ‘Are you prejudiced?’
should be ‘Yes.’ Why? Well, if you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in the presence
of a person of color, or judged people of a sexual minority, misgendered
someone or made a remark about them based on their gender, you fit the bill. We
don’t like to think this. We like to think that when we don’t do prejudiced things, like judge on the
basis of color, gender, or ability, that we are not those things. While that
may be true, it doesn’t take into account our automatic thoughts, which are
often harder to change than our behaviors and have been ‘gifted’ from a society
whose entire foundation is based on one form of oppression or another.
This means that we have to face a hard truth. While
statistically I believe that there is someone out there who is not prejudiced
and doesn’t exercise these systems of oppression, whether consciously or
unconsciously, I’m not so naïve to think that we are like this from the start.
As children we remain pretty innocent, but we also soak up these ideals like a
sponge, outside of our awareness. By the time we are able to represent our
world even symbolically, we’ve taken in the beliefs of our parents, many times
to our detriment.
No one wants to feel racist or sexist or homophobic (or this
may not actually be true…). No one wants to be called prejudiced. That’s
because we all want to be good people, or if nothing else, seen as good people. But to think that we will suddenly arise at
this point where we are absolutely, 100%, no longer working within any system
of oppression is just shortsighted. We still have automatic thoughts, we still
have gut feelings. Those things are what make us prejudiced.
However, it doesn’t mean that you should give up the ghost
and go be a giant asshole. What it does mean that you have things to unpack and
process. If you’re doing the work to challenge these assumptions, you’re
working on being part of the solution.
Recognizing your complicity in oppression is the first step.
To think that you’re a saint is misguided. We all struggle with our biases,
even if we are genuinely working for justice and the rights of all people. Maybe
the response to ‘You’re a bigot’ shouldn’t be a vehement denial followed by a
laundry list of all the things you’ve done to help xyz group. Maybe, instead,
it should be, ‘Oh shit. There’s something within me I need to address. How can
I take this moment and learn from it?’
We like to believe the world is fine and just, but we can
never forget that we are part of an oppressive society, sometimes to the extent
that we help it thrive.
