Thanksgiving

You may wonder why I have so much trouble with faith and religion. I've been lucky. My parents aren't the poster children for acceptance, but my mom is on the way and my dad may be, too. I have way more than just one family. I have the love of my life. I have these and so many other things. I am lucky, but I feel like believing in God because I have been lucky is selfish.

Why did he choose to bless me when there are many other people who long for even one of the things I have listed? I wouldn't want to give up my life for a harder one, but I know I could have had one. I don't know if God favors me. I'd be sad if he did because there are whole countries full of people who deserve for more but get far less than I do.

I saw two wrecks on the way to see my family last night. I knew that some family is going to have a less happy Thanksgiving than if the wrecks had not happened. I get a happy Thanksgiving, and some people may not even get one.

I want a spot at my table for people who can't travel, who are separated from their families, who may not have families. I want people in the world to feel about their lives the way I do about mine, good or bad.

I'm thankful for so much. To whom? I'm not sure. I just know that I'm grateful and I need to show it. Maybe one day I can give someone a Thanksgiving dinner, metaphorically or literally, when they otherwise wouldn't have one.

Find something to give thanks for.

Why This Still Matters

As I sit at my desk, I get a wonderful, thought provoking idea that I cannot pass up. Thank God my advisor does not have much to put on my plate today; I (more or less) have the opportunity to get this off my mind.

I did my senior thesis on comic books (Social Interest and the Supervillain). There were some points where I felt I should have done something different. Why? Well, because I felt I was doing the Black and the gay community a disservice by not focusing the best chance to funnel my academic skill and resources (thesis) into a project relating to one or both of these demographics. Again, why? Must I always promote the progression of the Black or gay or Black and gay community? Must my efforts always go toward goals of any of these communities? Where, if there is any, is there room for me to express my passions and desires as an individual rather than a member of a group? The answer is complicated.

My Theories of Psychotherapy book mentioned a quote from one of the author's patients, which basically outlined the pressure for Black academicians to take up arms in a Black cause or promote Black history. The client felt that he could not pursue his passion, History, without being called a traitor by not focusing on Black issues. He then asked his counselor if he ever felt that pressure as a White male. The counselor replied that no, he did not feel that pressure.

So, now, in my first semester of grad school, why am I burning with the passion to do something for Black people, LGBT people, LGBT people of color, and any disenfranchised group I can get my hands on? First, there is a lack of psychological literature on people in many different demographics. I want this to change. We need to learn how to address the unique problems that many unique people face, all the while keeping in mind that "humans are like all people, some people, and no other person" (forgive me for the misquote). I want to start groups, attend conferences and generally foster inclusion and acceptance of all people.

However, I feel like advocacy and research are my "ticket" in. I will finally be accepted by groups I have never truly felt I fit into (we've covered this). I will make connections with gay people, Black people, and many others and finally feel accepted. I'm doing this out of a desire for the welfare and informed knowledge of other groups, but also out of a need to find acceptance and connection.

I believe that race is still a pertinent issue and will continue to be one, and, no, not because I'm making it one. The day we can all rise up and forget the overt and covert racism, homophobia, sexism, and the many other 'isms of the past and work to undo the damage they have caused is the day I'll give up my fight. There is racism in the gay community. Transgendered people do not find the same level of acceptance that even I do. There is much we need to change and much we need to address.

My Issues with New Avengers

1). Spider-Man and Wolverine: Why do Wolverine and Spider-Man get dual membership in New and the main Avengers? Are they that important? I made the comment that Spider-Man isn't cool. I said that out of anger and I wish Peter Parker was real so I could apologize in person. However, he is not. I don't like him and Wolverine on any Avengers team. I do not like change. To me, there is something about them that is better served in a solo series (Spidey) and with the X-Men (Wolvie). I feel like they are only on the team to generate money because they are popular Marvel characters.

2) Carol has been B-Listed: Again. She deserves a solo title. She deserves to be on the Avengers team. I feel as though she has proved herself and she tried HARD to reinvent herself after House of M. She's also a good and capable leader. So, why is she constantly treated as second in command? Do the other Avengers doubt her that much?

3) The death of Doctor Voodoo: I actually found this a bit disrespectful. A Black man is Sorcerer Supreme, one of the most important parts of the Marvel universe. And (spoiler alert) he just died. Really? People actually DO get upset when prominent minority (sexual orientation, gender, race) characters get killed.

4) The story: Eh. Kinda weak. It didn't draw me in. It was a little confusing and I'm still not sure what happened (the lackluster ending does not help).

5) Issue 6's banner: ONE OF THESE AVENGERS WILL DIE! Just not a fan of this type of teaser.

6) Carol: I'm totally a Carol Danvers fanboy. I cannot lie. But imagine if SHE had tested her mettle in that mystical battle? Or anyone but Wolverine for that matter. I think it would have shown so much more resolve if she, Bobbi, Luke or Jessica had fought the battle. It would have shown so much more character and strength if one of these characters had fought. But no, Wolverine fought the freaking battle.

I know I got all rant-y, but the last issue had me a little upset. I'm leaving myself open to a bit of criticism, and I feel I must be prepared for any comments that may arise. I just wish this title was better, though I don't know what better means :/

Prologue - NaNoWriMo

On a whim, I decided to do NaNoWriMo. I think it'll be fun :) Here's the prologue to my story! Tentative title is: Struck. I sincerely hope it's not as sucky as I feel it is.

Prologue

I always considered our world to be “normal.” There is a reason that superheroes don’t exist. There is a reason that all of my fantasies about being a superhero won’t come true. There are times when I’m so lost in them, I can feel the power surges. I can feel the rush of adrenaline when I think of saving the world or fighting a random villain causing mass chaos in my general vicinity. However, my fantasy stops. I am still in the real world. I’m not going to get superpowers.

So, watching the news with my boyfriend, I never expected this day to come. There had been news of a meteor potentially crashing down to earth. What did I think? Was my life going to be all Deep Impact or something? No. As far as I know, the meteor is going to land somewhere in Africa. Yes, it is the motherland, but I’m not particularly concerned about the crash site. Maybe there was a tribe living there; maybe animals; maybe an expanse of wilderness. However, I am too disconnected to use any of my empathy or sympathy to care.

We brace ourselves, as little as we need to, for the impact. We don’t know what is going to happen, whether or not the meteor would or could trigger an extinction event. Scientists proposed that the meteor large enough to do damage to the earth where it landed, or was supposed to land. If it happened to land in the ocean, well, crisis averted. It would create minor tidal waves.

So, as we sit on the couch on this boring Thursday night watching “Meteor 2011,” I wonder what change, if any will come. How exactly is my life going to be affected by this? As the meteor grows closer to the atmosphere, a slight apprehension grows in my body. I feel more and more tense as the celestial body gets closer. There are cameras from satellites in space, news crews near the projected site of impact.

“Are you okay?” Jamie asked.

“Yeah?” I wasn’t sure why he was asking that question.

“Well, you don’t really look like you are.”

“Oh.” I must have been grimacing. I straighten my expression. The more we watch the meteor coverage, the more tension I feel, like something was constricting my body. And, when the meteor finally strikes the atmosphere, my eyes fly open. It feels like a shockwave. My ears are ringing and I can feel myself let out a scream, but I can’t hear it or Jamie frantically trying to figure out what’s wrong. I fall to the ground, holding my head. I almost miss the meteor splitting off into five parts. The reporters are speechless for a moment, gathering what to say before reporting what is happening

Between the pain and the awe at the meteorites, I don’t know what to do with myself. However, my body does: everything goes black. I awake less than an hour later, feeling fine. Jamie greets me with a glass of water, an expression of mixed relief and worry on his face. He tells me where the meteors landed; there was coverage from all over the globe. One in Antarctica, Africa, America, Japan, and Turkey.