Passion

It's Thanksgiving. There may or may not be a Thanksgiving post. This is mainly because I'm thankful for myself :)

Anyway, my mother asked me to get the Christmas stuff from the attic and I came across a box called "Kids' School Work." I happened to find my 2D Studio Art portfolio. I loved the pieces I did, though I think I can improve them. I remember what it was like to do them and how proud I was, even though I didn't do well on the AP test.

I thought, "Why am I doing psychology? Why am I not doing art if I truly love it?" I asked Mom about it and she said there are things we do as a career and others we do as a hobby, and that the hobbies are hobbies because we love them. If they were our jobs, we may not love them as much. Aka don't go into art. That's a joke, because I know she'd support me no matter what. She still has a point though. Psychology offers more security at this point. Art... Just doesn't.

Drawing and painting are two of my passions, and I truly do love them. I just hope that one day I can utilize the passion I have for them.

A New Philosophy

Today in speech, we watched a video on gay marriage and why it should be legalized. The purpose was to evaluate the speech and its efficiency. The speech's message though, still hit home.

If Z and I one day decide to stay together indefinitely, we can't get married. If something happens to him, I can't visit him in the hospital. We can't enjoy the rights that heterosexual couples enjoy because we are gay, we can't get married, and civil unions are a disgustingly unequal comparison to marriage.

I don't have these rights. I hear about them over and over again. There are people fighting for these rights. Yet, at the end of the day, I still don't have them and may not before I die. I am no longer willing to wait.

I am unwilling to wait to be considered equal and to enjoy something that should be rightfully mine and that I've wanted since I was little and before I even thought that people would deny me those rights. I am unwilling to be content or complacent with the current state of affairs, the status quo. How do I secure these rights for myself? Must I wait until someone decides that gays can marry? Must I sit here and watch state after state but my own realize that gay marriage is something that should've happened a long time ago?

What did the black men and women, the women in general, do when they faced these dilemmas? Why did they have to wait so long? What was the agony of waiting to secure even such a right as voting or to occupy the same space as other people? Why are we forced to endure the denial of rights? Why have many religions, and why do they STILL, spoken against each of these things?

And what was the joy of every black man and woman when the slaves were freed and schools became integrated? What were the joys of women when they were able to vote and work for the same careers as men?

What will be my joy when one day, I can turn to my partner, whether it is Z or not, and say, "Baby, let's get married"?

What will be my joy and why am I not able to experience that now?