Heavy Lifting

I just received an email, sent to four other young men in my department, to move the copier in the department back to its original location. While this is fine, the secretaries are asking for help, I have two issues: One, I don't want to do it. Two, she only asked the young men.

Believe it or not, asking men to do heavy lifting or to move heavy things is sexism on two fronts. One, it assumes that men are the only ones capable of doing so and women aren't unless absolutely necessary (read: no men are present). Two, it enlists men to do such a task even if they don't want to (the same as asking women to cook or clean when the same could be asked of men). I know that men and women are built differently, that my body may be more conducive to bigger muscles, and therefore I can understand the intent behind the email.

However, I don't think the women in my life are weak enough to be incapable of heavy lifting; they just aren't expected to. When there weren't any male assistants in the department, the women did the things now asked of us.

The point here is that, even though men have privileges afforded to them in society, sexism hits us, too. However, as I mentioned, this particular form of sexism still affects women. It's more than being asked to do things based on our abilities; sometimes these requests are hinged upon supposed talents, abilities or strength, not actual. To alleviate the effects of sexism, we have to change things around. Instead of assuming a man or woman can or can't do things solely based on their sex or gender, maybe we should work on evidence (which I think the secretary is doing, though if I were scrawny I think I'd still be asked to help out). It's teaching men how to cook, but also giving women the space to do the heavy lifting. Logically, I should no longer feel guilty that a women is doing heavy lifting and I'm not simply because she's a woman, but instead because heavy things are heavy and burdensome to move or lift; it's compassion versus sexism (in the same way that chivalry shouldn't be about men doing things for women because they are women, but because the men are trying to be considerate; women should also offer to do the same for men).

All that being said, I'm still going to move the copier if I can and have the time, even though I don't want to because I know it will help people out. I'm still not deluding myself by ignoring the sexism behind this request and others like it.

Many Things to Consider

There are stories made in my lifetime like The Help, the story of a young White woman who defies odds to chronicle a significant part of the lives of many old Black women working as maids in the Jim Crow South. It is an uplifting story in some parts (of course, this is with my only having seen the movie), and devastating in others. It is a story of triumph for both Skeeter and Aibileen and the other maids. However, it is also problematic. It is a story about a White Savior for Black women.

While these stories of uplift and rising above adversity have tremendous value, they also come with a price. In The Help, and other media, the Black women could not have risen above without Skeeter. Sure, at face value this is awesome because people are becoming more than their circumstances. But, as you know, I'm a fan of implicit language, and one thing that stories like The Help say is that We, as marginalized people, no matter who those people are, need the help of someone who is not marginalized to get by. We have our own strength, but it is not enough without the help of someone like the White Savior.

I'll admit, it does feel like reaching, but the elements are there. For some reason, it is too much to have a protagonist get by with a little help from his/her 'birds of a feather.' It is somehow too much to have more stories like The Color Purple, focusing on a Black woman and her Black family and friends and her struggle to just get through life despite her circumstances. We need stories like The Help, maybe so our White friends will be better about being our White friends and that they are somehow different from the bad White people on our television and movie screens and in our books.

However, there is another issue: Sometimes, our 'birds of a feather' do not help us succeed, whether deliberately or passively. Sometimes they don't know how. I grew up with the resources and the support that made college seem like absolutely the only way. And, honestly, for that I'm so glad. However, do other Black teens have the same opportunities? Despite the Jefferson-esque move to the westside of Little Rock, Arkansas, I know that my parents would have pushed me to pursue a higher education. I don't think every Black youth has that. I don't think every Black youth even has someone that is willing to spend the energy to believe in them. And that's just Black youth.

So, we arrive at an impasse in which we have to fight the implicit message of needing something akin to a White Savior, but also, for some, having no other choice but to find a White Savior because the Birds of a Feather are incapable, in some way, of helping us out.

As I repeat, over and over again, and as I will repeat forever: If we lived in a truly equal society, these stories might not be a double edged sword, and there might be a chance for off-color jokes to exist without slowly damaging society piece by piece. But, as we all know, that is not the case. So, we must be wary of these stories while we applaud them. We must appreciate that there are nonmarginalized people ready and willing to help out, but what that may say about us.

Basically, these stories have to be treated with gravity, but also taken with a grain of salt. It's okay for anyone who is marginalized to rise up with his/her own strength, and it's okay to get help from someone with the resources. Both narratives are okay. Sometimes, we do or don't need a White Savior. Sometimes, we can make it on our own.