Ms. Marvel: Binaries

Eh, it's a tentative title, but one I would possibly use for a Ms. Marvel video game. To me, Carol Danvers is THE leading lady of Marvel. I love and adore her and I believe she deserves her time in the spotlight.

About three years ago, I played Marvel Ultimate Alliance for the first time and discovered a new character. "Who the hell is Ms. Marvel?" I tried her out anyway and found out I LOVE her. Her power and skill sets were what I'd wish for (save for any psychic abilities). The more research I did, the more I found I liked her. Over the years I've asked myself "Why is Carol often B-Listed? Why is she on the back burner?" Though this is not a post about feminism or the lack of strong female representation as compared to male in mainstream comics, I do think that it is an issue.

To get to the matter at hand, if I designed a Ms. Marvel video game, I'd more than likely make it a side-scrolling beat-em-up game. I miss the format and think it would be cool to bring it back. I imagine Carol doing a pre-stage pose or something like a quick one-liner or walking onto the screen in her civvies and then quickly changing into her costume. I also imagine using instrumentals from Kylie Minogue's music as background music.

That's basically all I have. I don't have a story lined up, though I'd probably make a villain specifically for the game. But given the chance, I would love to design/make a Ms. Marvel video game. She deserves it.

Offensive

So, we have another instance of what some people call homophobia. I'm sure people may not agree with me on what I'm about to say, and from what I've searched, only a couple (seriously) of people are on my side. What I consider my vocal opposition is winning out.

Michael Catherwood of E! made a remark about Adam Lambert in response to potential battery charges for Mr. Lambert in regards to a "run-in" with a paparazzo, stating, "From what I know about jail, Mr. Lambert probably wouldn't have too bad a time." I thought it was funny. Lambert responded by calling out Catherwood and fans responded by alerting GLAAD. Catherwood then made an apology via Twitter. Now if this turns out like a certain celebrity star's fiasco (Hello, Ryan Leslie!), then I'll quickly label Catherwood a raging douche. But, as it stands, he made a joke. If he needs to issue an apology, Daniel Tosh (whom I also love) may need to be sued.

Now, I would like to say before I go shower for talking about minor celebrity gossip (yes, I do feel dirty, but that may be the post-workout talking), I'm not for defending Catherwood. I am, however, for calling out organizations like GLAAD (whom I actually do appreciate for most of their work) and people like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton (...let's not get started) for constantly crying racism or homophobia. They seem to not exercise much discretion in picking their battles. Catherwood is an easy target. How about we hit Christine O'Donnell for calling homosexuality an "Identity Disorder" or Fred Phelps in freaking general.

I am a firm believer that constantly calling homophobia, racism, or sexism isn't making people more aware, nor helping us progress as a society. In fact, I think it pushes us back. Yes, we need to be aware of insensitivity, but we don't always need to make an outcry or force people to make apologies. I also don't like that Adam Lambert's fans jumped on a bandwagon to support him; I don't feel like the fans are necessarily supporting gay rights. If Justin Bieber or the Jonas Brothers were insulted, a lot of fans would do the same because they are fans, not to act in the welfare of someone else who might have been insulted or disrespected as a result.

I don't know why I feel so passionate (or possibly obsessed) about this issue, but it raises some concerns. Let's teach our children NOT to act this way or make insensitive comments instead of crying foul when the slightest thing happened. We have bigger and better targets to pursue; to me, these little battles mean nothing. Score one for gay rights? No. Score publicity for Adam Lambert, E! and Michael Catherwood? Definitely.

Also, I don't like Adam Lambert, so I am biased, but I'd stand my ground if the issue involved anyone else (John Mayer didn't offend me when he said the n-word; I just thought it was fucking stupid).

Let's pick our battles. There are such things as institutionalized and/or covert racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. Crying foul isn't going to teach people what these things are; it will only polarize them. Teaching people to be more accepting and aware without making people issue half-hearted apologies is.

Batman and Adlerian Psychology

I'd LOVE to do this as a longer and in-depth analysis, but here's Batman at a glance through Adlerian psychology:

Batman is one of the most recognizable superheroes today, but many may not know that he has issues with emotional distance and trust. He keeps himself preoccupied with fighting and solving crimes (self-absorption), but keeps himself at a distance from others. What is interesting about Batman is that he uses his striving for superiority to save Gotham City and the world at large. He also can be said to have a high level of social interest (he works to save others, he has taken many wards under his wing and supported them, he refuses to kill). He seems to be unaffected by his status as an only child and a very wealthy man. However, his trust issues still stand.

Batman’s main struggles come in the form of mistrusting others, including those whom he should logically trust, problems with intimacy, and secrecy. A major theme of Batman’s behavior comes from Adler’s idea of compensation: When he was young, he lost his parents to a gunman whose identity he did not know for many years. This event had a major effect on his desire to help others because he felt as though he could not help himself or his parents when they died. Interestingly, Batman does not show more of the maladaptive aspects of having a pampered lifestyle as an only child; he uses the events that had transpired in his life to save others. He already has prosocial goals, but these goals are simultaneously self-absorbing. The issues of trust may have developed after years of fighting crime, making Batman fearful of revealing his identity to others as a means to exploit him (Jezebel Jet) or harm those he loves. These issues have interfered in his relationship with Selina Kyle (Catwoman) and other superheroes, including an incident where he created “contingency files” in the case that any of his fellow members of the Justice League went rogue.

The first step in helping Batman overcome his trust and intimacy issues is to do a lifestyle analysis to see if he has any cognitive mistakes. I can imagine that one mistake would be his holding most people at a distance (save for a small number). It may also be helpful to try the “as if” or “push button” technique. He can act “as if” he is a trusting individual when it comes to relationships with other women, though I could imagine he may be resistant to such a technique. He can also “push the button” on feelings of trust he has for people like Dick Grayson (Nightwing), Alfred, or Commissioner Gordon. He has been let down by many people in his life, and Jezebel Jet provides an unfortunate example as to why he may not trust some love interests. Batman may take a more in-depth analysis as to what techniques may help him the most. In the meantime, these may be a good first step.

Introspection v. 1.0

Not sure if this is going to be a regular thing, but I think it'd be cool, whether on here or in a written journal (my Goal Book is the current home). Anywho, I took some time to just think. That's it. Think. I needed it. I needed to get some things off my chest, whether or not it was to someone else.

After the break-up, my self-esteem and self-worth took a great hit. I didn't even realize it until recently. When I see an attractive guy, I go "Ooooh damn..." then I go "He'd never want me..." Of course, pining after straight men doesn't help, but I won't talk to anyone. Not because I'm a wimp, but because I don't think anyone will take me. I almost feel like no one wants me. Sometimes I feel like I'm not worth the love. But why? My self-worth is not contingent upon a man's love or attention. I know this. So why am I not acting like it? Why am I not taking charge of my life, my love life? There is also the issue of auto-sabotage. I feel like anything I start is destined to fail because I will make it fail. I will find the smallest doubt, the smallest insecurity, and magnify it 'til where I can't deal with it anymore. My standards have been impossibly high, even though I'm looking like nobody's business. I don't want to be lonely anymore. I love being alone. I hate being lonely. The catch is that I'll search and search but knock people off my list. I don't want to be lonely, but I'm not willing to find the next random guy to make me feel whole. I refuse to let anyone in my life that isn't up to my (impossibly high) standards.

Other than that, I realized just how much things have changed for Z and I. I'm at a much more comfortable place with the whole situation. Of course our end was amicable. Sad, but amicable. Last night we talked for a bit and it was nice, but I see where we both are headed as people. We aren't going to be best friends. We aren't going to share every detail of our lives. We'll just be friends. It's weird to think about, but it also gives me a sense of resolution. I think that chapter's just about done, if not over, and now I feel like any decisions I've made regarding it.... They stand. No more uncertainty.

So, with all that being said...

Until Further Notice,

Allen

There's a Reason

I knew there was a reason I changed the name of this blog. It was previously "Auriel's Kataomoi" or Auriel's Unrequited Love (kataomoi = unrequited love in Japanese). Auriel was to be my pen name, but that is neither here nor there (I've been saying that a lot lately). But I wanted to turn away from that. I basically said to myself, "Quit being so damn emo." But that was it, I started this blog to talk about unreciprocated, unrequited love. I needed some place to go, because I don't talk to people, not about this. I needed someone to talk to who wouldn't go sleep with someone else (I know you know that reference).

But I changed the name to "Until Further Notice" because that statement has a lot of use. Until further notice, I may not be okay. I am not whole, though I endeavor to be. I am looking for love, though I am most assuredly not finding it (and possibly pushing it away: to be discussed in the next post). Until further notice, until I let you know something changed, this is the state of my world.

I like this blog as an outlet. Yeah, I kinda do it for attention because I like attention and LOVE when people comment. But I also do it because there are a lot of things swirling in my head that I want to get out there and I don't know who to talk to about them. Those things range from politics to love to loneliness (next post) to religion and a wide variety of things.

There is a reason I do a lot of things. I wish I could say I pride myself on knowing my exact reasons, but I am no where near that congruent, though I am working on it. So...

Until Further Notice,

Allen