Bitter

I'm angry and bitter and sad because other people are happy. I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy, but I don't think I'll get it acting like this. Fuck this. I need to be single. For sure. I don't need a man or anyone else. I can't even get my thoughts together...

No flower.

Okay, I think I have it now. I try to prove to others that I'm not ordinary. I think only ordinary hurt people, but I find myself in the same situation. I don't like hurting people, but that fear drives me to be inactive. I become silent. I do nothing and I end up hurting people anyway. Does this make me ordinary? Sure. Does this make me a jackass? Yea, mostly because it's been done to me and I hated it when i thappened.

Instead of trying to find the right way and circumstances, why not just do it? It's a txt, but I don't give a damn. I need to quit leading him on.

I have so much anger boiling inside me that I honestly just want to cry! Why all this frustration and torment? Oh yea, because one of my "friends" just might be going after another guy I was involved with. Sure, I'm about to dump the guy. Sure, he may not have known. That doesn't make me feel any less shitty. Ugh, fuck this shit. I'm watching Gundam Wing.

Speaking of, no flower, like I said, but one of my favorite Gundam models. Altron from Gundam Wing. He kicks ass. No contest.