I should be working on something Psychology related, mostly so my research partners won't hate me, but I found it useful to do this instead:
Why do people make me so angry? Why am I angry in the first place? All the things that I don't like in the people around me, from how I "think" they treat me to how they do treat me... I wonder which holds the most weight. How can I feel so shitty sometimes but feel so much better later, when I'm talking to them one-on-one? I feel a sense of betrayal inside; I don't know what to feel or when to feel it.
I've known for a long time that I'm not a huge fan of groups anyway, so why try? I like more personal interactions, maybe so one person can just focus on me (haha!), or vice versa.
It's just... I don't want to spill out my heart because I feel one way only to find that it's not true later. Maybe that's the purpose of letting emotions out anyway... I like getting my feelings out, but I'm trying to find the safest way without feeling alienated or blaming others...
The Peony is for healing, which I am in the process of doing
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