Put Forth the Effort

Autopilot is a beautiful thing. When my feelings are in full force, I get an amazing sense of energy and words, pictures, and thoughts can fly out of my at astounding speeds. However, as I've grown, I've realized that my emotional life is not going to always afford me such energy. Sometimes, it will sap the energy from me. Other times, I'll have to find the energy myself.

Even as I write this post, it is not written with the same fervor as some of the posts I've written in the past. It does not have behind it the same kind of passion that makes pulling my thoughts together an easy rather than daunting task. However, writing is one of my passions, so I figured it'd be best to try to write 'something.' So, I decided to write about summoning the energy to write when it is not as easily flowing through me.

People, youth in particular, often think that these rushes, these feelings are going to guide them through whatever. I see this in myself, especially when I like someone. Those intense, intoxicating, and uplifting feelings at the beginning of any romance are a life-force all their own. They help me function on little sleep and food, they guide my thoughts toward whatever Him is in my life. Yet, they also eventually fade. Those feelings are replaced by something much more benign and much less like taking a hit of a drug. That's when I find out, "Oh, this takes work." It most certainly does, my friend.

Sometimes, I am not going to have the energy to write, draw, play video games, study, or work. Yet, what I have to understand is that I have to create that energy myself in order to do something with myself. If writing is my passion, I need to nurture it and let it develop and grow, lest I become bitter and complacent (which has happened; things didn't start to better fall into place until I started writing again). Since I am in a relationship with someone, I have to make a daily commitment to respect and cherish him for however long we are together. Feelings come and go; I have to actively make the choice whether I take the trips with them.

I wish there was a limitless energy onto which I could attach myself. I could go for days on end doing what I love. But, reality doesn't paint the same picture. Even the things and people I love fall to the wayside, and it is up to me to bring them back into my life on a regular basis. Such a notion is why Art Time is a sacred part of my week. It may be cancelled if we are all tired, but Art Time is never to be sacrificed for a date, for a friend, for family, unless absolutely necessary because art, like writing, is one of my passions and it is that important to me. In the process of making art, writing, cooking, or whatever important, I honor myself by making the decision to do the things I love, that light me up from the inside.

Take some time to muster the energy it takes to do something you love, no matter how small. Your day will be that much brighter for it :)