Psychic Energy

Oooo. Haha, no, nothing mystical, supernatural, or superhuman. Psychic energy involves, basically, energy of the mind, the amount of energy you put into tasks, thoughts, etc.

As an introvert, I draw energy from within and find it taxing to be around too many people for long periods of time. As I've mentioned before, it's hard to be around a small group consistently without going crazy. I need and have to take time for myself to think, to recharge, recoup, relax, that kind of deal.

Tonight, I asked Q if he wanted to go eat with me and he said sure. We get there and I pick a table that, by the time we left, is packed. That's my bad. I like being enclosed, but not surrounded. Anyway, two of our friends come over, which was okay, but I would've preferred just eating with Q unless things like that were established. I'm really weird about that kind of stuff. They had more people with them, whom I didn't really want to eat with, so they had to move, and if I wanted to move, I would've gone with them, but I didn't. So one of the friends is communicating across the way with Q through signals and what not and I found myself pissed. Maybe because the spotlight wasn't on me. At any rate, I almost spoke up and said, "You can go sit with them. I'm not stopping you." Like I said, it just made me angry. So, we leave, and I feel not only angry, but like a freaking puppy dog (completely irrational). So, needless to say, I was very happy when we left.

By the time I got back to my room, I was still slightly angry, and I attribute it to the fact that I may have spent a bit more energy than I intended to in the first place. I expected a quiet dinner alone with a friend and felt like I got the exact opposite. I don't like when I'm around people and I feel like they're paying more attention to people that are around than me. I don't like being around a ton of people to begin with, even if I love Christmas at the mall (remember: enclosed, not surrounded).

Whatever, I'm spending my weekend alone, which was the plan. So, I begin my foray into recharge mode. Hook me up :)