Gay and Republican: Maybe Not So Hypocritical

When we hear about gay Republicans, there is the collective GASP. We say, "How can you be gay and conservative?" "Do you care about your own rights?" "You can't be gay and Republican." And I'm just not so sure these statements are all in the right area.

I call myself a liberal because I support liberal social politics. I am pro-choice; I support gay-marriage and adoption. But what about economics? The environment? Education? I don't know what it means to be either liberal OR conservative about those issues. I just know where I stand on them, with economics to a lesser degree. When we call someone conservative or liberal, I think we just stop at the social meaning which often gravitates around the question "Do you like gay people and support gay rights?" A yes will elicit "Well, you must be a liberal," and a no will elicit "You fucking conservative."

Maybe we aren't giving gay republicans their due. Just because they are Republican or consider themselves conservative may not mean that they don't support gay rights. In the media we often see the polarized versions of Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberal. They are either one or the other and very strongly so. However, I'm sure we've all met a Republican who actually supported gay marriage or a Democrat who didn't. What does it take to be considered one or the other? Must you be either in every possible way, or can you have more moderate, and even some opposite leaning, views?

I recently read about a gay Republican conference with the one and only Anne Fucking Coulter as a speaker. Now, I always thought she hated the gays. Why is she speaking at a gay conference? That's a story for another day. I read up on these particular Republicans and found that while they use that label, they are also in support of gay marriage. It was a shock; I always found gay and Republican/conservative to be mutually exclusive. That was my turning point.

I think we are being shortsighted when we assume that all conservatives hate gay people and don't support gay marriage and that gay people can't hold conservative views. We see what a certain conservatism looks like in the supporters of Prop 8, who use hollow arguments to support their claims. But what about others? What about liberals or Democrats (a lot of people see them as one in the same for some reason) who actually don't support gay marriage? What about clearly outspoken conservatives like Elizabeth Hasselbeck who actually do (trust me, I was just as surprised as you are)? Why do we keep putting people in boxes and only assigning them the most naive, idealistic qualities or the worth and most negative qualities?

People exist on a spectrum. Their views lie on a political or ideological spectrum. Gays can be Republicans just like they are most often assumed to be Democrats or liberals. I know where I stand. It's time I and others recognized that just because we are gay does not mean we all have the same views.

Socially Awkward Jackass

Believe it or not, those two are different. There are areas where they may come off as the same, such as someone who is socially awkward behaving like a jackass, but someone who's socially awkward and someone who's a jackass differ at key points.

First, let's take socially awkward, or its cousin, socially retarded. Someone who's socially awkward seems to lack the graces to be considered a universally good conversation partner. He may say things that don't make sense, he may not control his tone or how he says things to other people. Sometimes, I think I can classify as socially awkward. I'm not always funny and my mind seems to run a lot faster than other people's. I can easily make connections between subjects that I talk about, but not everyone sees those connections and I can quickly jump to another by the time someone figures out what I was talking about before. What I think sets me apart is the fact that I pick up on tone, body language, essentially reading people, to know what or how to say or do whatever. Someone who's socially retarded, though, lacks these graces completely and easily becomes "that one kid" that no one wants to talk to. Thing is, I don't think these people actually realize what could be considered their "awkwardness."

Take my lab partner last week for instance. He's a nice guy, but I did find it particularly angering that he opted to drop chemicals at one point because I "drop too slow." He also took the time to blame a certain, albeit minor, mishap on my part when I mentioned to him that "maybe we missed a step." Our professor wondered what was going on and my lab partner did not hesitate to say "Oh, well he forgot the step." Yea.

Now, a jackass knows he's a jackass. He does not feign kindness. He's brash, inconsiderate, and quick to temper. Take my best friend for instance. If I hated him, I'd call him a jackass. I love him to death, but he's still a jackass. Know what makes him different? He knows he's a jackass, but he's lovable, AND he knows when to hold punches, when and what to say. I know lots of jackasses that I can tolerate. Now, then and again you find the kind of jackass that you can't STAND being around. The one who doesn't seem to know he's a jackass, but in truth, he does. The one who never hesitates to make some sort of snide or smartass comment and who has the utmost capacity to get his ass kicked on a daily basis. He has some of the characteristics of your average socially awkward guy, but to a less cute, way more unbearable and "Meet me at 3 o'clock" way.

Not going to lie, I have a bit of jackass in me, too. I can be downright brutal, emphasis on the can, but I try not to. I joke around a lot, but I've started to draw the line. Yet, I kinda put this sort of behavior in the "bitch" category more than jackass (I rarely find that gay men are indeed assholes or jackasses versus just being bitches). More on that.

So, here is your lesson on those socially awkward individuals whom you can't help but just stare at in awe at their, well, awkwardness, and the jackasses whose heads you want to rattle with the closest blunt object.

Adieu.