Christianity as a Closet

How many gay men and women have we met that fought their sexuality so long through Christianity? We really can't say, because we don't always know. But what strength lies in hiding your homosexuality inside of Christianity? You open the closet and it's there; staring at you. It's like that sweater you can't take back. It's always lingering somewhere in the back of the closet, no matter how hard you try to tuck it back.

Honestly, I find this counter-intuitive. Extremely. When I was younger, trying to use religion as a means of keeping my sexuality a secret caused me more pain than good. Now, I'm not afraid to tell you that I'm gay AND I believe in God. Sometimes you just have to ask :). Joke aside, whether you choose to adopt a gay lifestyle or acknowledge your sexuality and choose a life of celibacy, I don't see the shame in hiding yourself from you. You have to learn to embrace him or her in everything he or she is, good and bad. It's psychologically healthy. Jung's archetype, the shadow, is everything bad we see about ourselves. We can't move forward if we don't embrace the shadow. This doesn't mean coming out with the intensity of a pride parade, but it does mean looking at yourself and saying "I'm gay" and taking it from there. Once it's over, you realize just how simple that is. I understand that family and friends may react negatively; that is always a possibility. As far as that is concerned, do it when you know it's safe. There's a difference between hiding your whole life and hiding until you can handle it.

I'm a firm believer that God can and will love you, no matter what. I'll see my good atheist and agnostic friends in Heaven, or the lack thereof, just like I'll see my gay friends too. And if there's a huge void when we die, well, we can rest easy into the darkness, but I digress. So, why use something that will cause you pain when you choose to hide in it instead of embracing it with who you are completely?

It took me a while to figure it out, and I made peace with my life. I hope you can find that peace with who you are too.

Love.